Monthly Archives: January 2012

Anger and the Emotional Vocabulary

Some years ago I wrote a series of articles titled, “Change Your Language Reduce Your Anger.” In those articles I introduced the idea that anger management can be achieved if we learn an emotional vocabulary. Since then, my position has … Continue reading

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Two Categories of Anger

Anger is either situational or existential. In my work over the years I have found people present with anger management issues either because of a trigger event in their lives or because of more existential concerns. It is easy to … Continue reading

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Good and Bad Avoiding

Dr. Ralph H. Kilmann, CEO of Kilmann Diagnostics and coauthor of the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict-Mode Instrument (TKI) There are two kinds of “avoiding” to keep in mind: good avoiding and bad avoiding. Good avoiding is when you purposely leave a conflict … Continue reading

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Anger: The emotion defender

In previous post I called anger a secondary emotion. Today I am going to go a bit further and call anger the, “emotion defender”.  What I am suggesting is that when anger arises it is in fact present in the … Continue reading

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Anger Management: Different from Domestic Violence

I often get calls from women and men seeking anger management classes but on further investigation I determine that these individuals need domestic violence (DV) interventions. Callers are often confused by my referral to DV interventions which leads to an … Continue reading

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The Crying Game: Babies’ Crying and Anger

Societies across the world invest billions in formal education. Unfortunately very little of that money is spent on teaching children to perceive, identify, and meet their need (PIM) while expressing their emotions. The fallout is that there are masses of … Continue reading

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Is Anger Really all that Bad?

I am often asked, “is anger really so bad?” To this I give a surprising answer-it depends. I go on to make the following statement: A person without anger is like a country without a military. A military is a … Continue reading

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